WLS is not easy

Weight loss surgery is NOT easy. It is NOT an easy way out. It is NOT a quick fix. There so many aspects that one can NEVER be prepared for when it comes to altering your body so that you can regain your health and save your life. Most of us have become over weight for many reasons; genetics, emotional eaters, over eaters etc. I have the genetic part along with emotional eating. And when you go under the knife to reduce the size of your stomach to..oh I don't know...the SIZE OF AN EGG, one can only be prepared. Yes, you go through a psychological exam and they clear you for surgery based on the ability of you understanding what you are getting your self into and that you understand it will be hard work. Sure, we all got cleared and we all had an understanding of what we THOUGHT was going to happen, but no one prepared us for the hormonal surges that are caused by estrogen being released into our system at a fast pace, no one prepared us for head hunger, no one prepared us for life situations that normally we would eat our way through. Sure, we can eat our way through emotional times, BUT, then we are sitting over the toilet either puking or crapping ourselves to death from dumping syndrome, or you over eat and you have the most uncomfortable feeling in your pouch that the only way to relieve the pain is by throwing it all up. None of this is fun, so we try to avoid it at all cost.

Then comes one aspect that I was never prepared for...being a college graduate, unemployed and already being manic depressed...but having my depression being there full force and stressed out because of finances. Well, for me, when I am depressed, and yes I am on medication, I lay around the house or sleep. I have no motivation to do anything. I don't have school work to keep me busy, I don't have work during the day to keep me busy. I can get my housework done in a matter of a couple of hours. I am too broke to go anywhere fun. Since my husband has about a 30min commute to work, we need to save all the gas we can. I just feel stuck. I am not a homebody but lately I have to be. And it is just not fun. It is not helping me lose this weight. I am stuck between 92-96lbs lost. After reading so many people's journey's, I feel like I am so behind on where I am supposed to be. But what keeps me going is that I know when I get a job, I will be able to keep my self preoccupied so that I don't eat, or lay around doing nothing. 

People have said that I need to get out and exercise, ok, I do that. I go for an almost 3 mile walk. I clean the house. But what do I do with the rest of my time?!? If I go for a walk around 9, I get home at 10. I clean until 12 and then I have nothing to do until 6pm when I start making dinner for when my husband wakes up. He works nights. 

So I am going to make some plans for this coming week, which is really hard to do, since I am unemployed and have applied to many positions around my area, I need to be willing and ready to go to an interview at a moments notice. But I am going to TRY to plan out my week and that will hopefully get me in a better mood. And take my mind off other things as well. 

I am also going to start the 5DPT on Monday to get my self back on track and get these carbs out of my system. It's holding me back in more ways than one. 

Wow, I do feel better after writing. Ok, until next time. Which might be later tonight...I am going to go start planning out my week!!

Loves!